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LANCASTER, UK - After a successful
PhD viva at Lancaster University,
the true reason why computer
scientist Albrecht S. wanted to
become a doctor was revealed, as he
explained his baffled colleagues
and friends that it was his
life-long ambition to become Dr.
Evil.
"Ever since I
saw that menacing appearance of his
supreme Evilness on the big screen,
I knew I had found the purpose of
my life..", he sighs with a big
grin, "Earning millions, no,
billions of dollars, my
own multi-corporate organization,
plus having a 32 inch-tall Mini-Me
clone. How cool is that?"
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Albrecht S., almost there in his
mission to true Evilness
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"And those
chairs that - at the push of a
button - can ditch my henchman of
choice in a violent stream of
scorching lava! Because my
high-tech fortress of Evil would be
built on a slightly-dormant
volcano, of course.", he clarifies,
"Cultivating an aura of restrained
menace with an ominous, malevolent
presence is extremely
important."
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In
his pursuit to become Dr. Evil,
Belgian citizenship has become a
priority now for Albrecht S.
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After the
completion of his viva, one more
obstacle stands in the way of
Albrecht S.' quest to become a true
Evil Eminence. "Dr. Evil
has to be from Belgium -
as was revealed in the final
chapter of the epic trilogy Austin
Powers."
However,
bureaucracy in Belgium has thus
far prevented him from
reaching this final objective, with
the most recent letters from
the embassy objecting that 'World
Domination' is not a viable
profession.
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"Those meddling office-peasants are
making their way up on my black
list; I'm still pondering on their
fate, I first thought of sending
them my army of fembots, but now I
decided to use my new, freakishly
large, hideously overpowered
'LASER'- gun."
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